thoughts ...

Today I am having a rough day dealing with Gary being gone. I feel empty, like something's missing (I know, you're thinking, duh - someone IS missing.). Emotions like this seem to surface when spurred on by some event or knowledge I've acquired. Recently, I was given a blog address of some friends we knew in college and after seeing photos of them with their families and reading the entries about time they've spent together... playing with kids, visiting the beach, enjoying eachother's company ... it made me think of what we are missing as a family. Our friends also serve in some capacity in the military, so I know they have experienced their fair share of separation, but I feel jealous and sad because I want to spend time with my family and our family includes Gary. I try to be strong and not wallow in self-pity because there are so many families who experience this, but sometimes that fact doesn't help make it easier. And I know life doesn't stop just because Gary is gone; we stay busy, there's always something going on, but I miss sharing it with him. Life isn't the same without him to share it with. So, I guess I just have to pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep trucking...